Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes
by AuroraLamia
Summary: I wasn't human, I knew that, but I wasn't really a cylon.
1. Prologue

Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter: Prologue

Chapter Summary: A Lullaby is heard, confusion enters thoughts and they are falling.

There's a song in my head, and the world is always singing it. A soft lullaby that I remember from…

The darkness is back. And I'm falling again, there's something wrong here, but I don't know what. I think someone is calling for me, but I don't know. The name sounds familiar, its sounds like it should be mine, but my body doesn't recognize it.

I've stopped falling. I can feel something, sharp. I try to scream but I don't feel the pressure of voice leaving my body, all I feel is pain and hurt. There's something wrong, what's going on? I can't remember, I can't think, I can't… I don't want to fall again. All I seem to see through my eyes is darkness, am I moving? Or am I floating? Abyss. That's all I feel, abyss.

There's a voice in the darkness, beckoning me to it. I want to move towards the noise and put my hand out for me to hold but I don't know how to anymore. I don't remember, I can't shift through memories, there pushing at me in a force, things changing, are they coming or going? Can't keep a straight thought.

There's another voice now singing. A lullaby, it sounds so familiar, and I want the voice to keep singing it, I don't want to forget it.

Someone's crying, I can feel his or her sadness reaching into me, begging for me. Why do they want me? Do I know them? Did something happen? Can I fix it? I move towards the noise, I can feel my body gliding upwards, calling for me before something happens. I see light, its white and red. But what's that other colour?


	2. Chapter One: Awakening

Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter One: Awakening

Chapter Summary: A birth, a few weeks pass and the front door bell rings, who's behind it?

I screamed and my body arched as the pain seemed to focus on a part of me, I felt as if something had been ripped from me. I couldn't focus where, the pain was the strongest on one focus but I didn't know where. I was scared. I was alone. My body screamed as did my voice and slowly I felt the pain melt away leaving me alone in water.

I could breathe, but why. All logic proved that breathing in water was impossible. I had seen the bubble leave my mouth and float away and around me. I curled up in a foetal position, clinging to myself for warmth. Was I cold? Or was I just alone? I couldn't tell. There were so many thoughts, so many memories, so many emotions all wrapping around me attacking me all at once. STOP!

Silence. Nothing. No other words in my head but these.

Now because the pain had gone and everything was at a standstill, I opened my eyes. Blur, all I could see was light. Slowly everything sharpened and I saw where I was that the oxygen was being placed into my lungs at a normal speed though my nose. How could I have not felt it before?

Around me I saw that I was alone, somewhere, but where? I swam to the side, like a window I could see into a room. There was desk filled with paper work, coffee mugs and plates. Turning to see past the desk I could observe the lab equipment. Bunsen burners under tripods, with gauze mat a top of them with a glass beakers filled with varied liquid. One of the liquids was thick enough to be blood.

There was a large, long table covered in objects, each one I knew the name of and what it was used for.

There was a large selection of computers with wires connected from them into a chair. This I did not know of, or what it did. Above the chair hung a machine that looked to be both heavy an extremely expensive. Was it connected to the chair?

"You're awake." I gasped and inhaled water through my lungs, choking I kicked off the glass window and tried to breathe through my nose to fix the choking. Slowly my body relaxed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Opening my eyes again I swam closer to the window and saw a man standing there in a lab coat.

I tried to speak but I realised I was underwater and it would be useless.

"Don't fear child, I'm just going to tell you a few things, all you have to do is nod yes and shake your head no, understood?" I nodded once. "Excellent, then I shall begin." He told me of my creation, how he wanted a child and so I was born, only to grow inside the tank at a rapid speed that he had not foreseen.

I was illegal, from the way he seemed nervous around certain topics, I knew I was an illegal specimen. Did I feel all right with this fact? I didn't know, I was still shifting though emotions; one thing I was sure of was that I was unhappy with where I was at the moment. And confused, deeply confused about what was happening. I wanted out, I needed to get out but… how?

I've already tried to mime, tried to mouth about getting out, but he ignored me. I knew he was ignoring me, everything I did.

Strands of dark hair floated around me and I sighed as I continued to look around the lab. How did I feed? How _had_ I been fed as I was in the tank for those years he kept me here. How many was it again? Five. I think he said I was five. Technically it was more of a five-year pregnancy I wanted to say, since I was gestated here.

"Don't worry Star-" He had named me Star, and every time he said my name he felt sad. "Only a few days until I know you're safe." But a baby exits the womb when the hormones say it is time, when will I be able to leave? I want out, I want escape, I was ready, and I could feel it.

Against what he said, I swam upwards to the top of the tank; logically speaking this should be the exit zone. As I swam up I felt my muscles move with me properly for the first time. The tank was large in length and as I swam upwards I could feel the pressure moving. Once I came to the top I pounded on the lid. I _needed_ out.

The tubes that were connected to my body went through the top and connected with different liquids and machines, I saw him walk up the stairs to the top and press a button.

Darkness. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be alone in everything but your thoughts.

When I awoke again I saw the man's face again. His glasses on the end of his nose as his greying blonde beard moved as he scratched at it in thought. I swam to the edge and pounded on the window to receive his attention. He ignored me. He knew I was here, but his thoughts were elsewhere.

I think they were on his deceased daughter.

At least I think he has a deceased daughter. The way acts and moved around me, the way he says my name as if it belongs to someone else. The ways his sadness seems to seep through his soul. I'm a project meant to replace the gaping hole his daughter left for him. I wouldn't though. I'm not her; I doubt I even look like her.

His blue eyes shifted to me, smiling softly as if echoing a memory, he push a button and I heard a noise as the liquid around me- no it wasn't water, it was to do with keeping me hydrated yes, but it wasn't water- was drained away. Slowly I sunk to the bottom before almost all the liquid was gone except for what dripped off of me and what didn't make it into the drains.

A door was pushed opened and he handed me a towel and bathrobe. "Come Star, I'll show you around."

~X~

I have my own room in this house. It's nice. I don't think the room use to belong to the Old Star, I get the feeling he has that room closed off so he doesn't have to think about it. But this room is very nice. It has a full-length mirror and I saw my reflection for the first time.

My hair was very long, five years worth of growing made it long enough to come to my waist, and I think I may cut it if the Doctor gives me permission. That's another thing, the Doctor only wants me to call him the Doctor, nothing else, I don't even know his real name, all I know is that I'm am his child, his creation.

"Star, are you to cook dinner now or later?" Like a human child I have chores, I cook and I clean, and I receive money to exchange for goods in the shops I am aloud to visit once a week with the Doctor. I feel strange in the house; it's not my home. It's hers, Star's. As I walk down the stairs to the kitchen I pause and look around, taking in the sights. Her essence is still here, in a way _she_ is still here, though there are no photos or actual images of her.

While I cook dinner I think. Mechanically I seem to slice the cheese and dice the tomatoes, it was instinct, like it had been implanted in my thoughts and movements. None of this was making any sense, had he genetically altered my movements from a normal human? Was I what he wanted to be? _Perfect?_

The doorbell rang in that brief moment of silenced mind. "Do you wish me to answer it Doctor?" I asked only to hear no reply. Curiously I left the stove of pasta sauce, putting the temperature down to a simmer before I wiped my hands on the white cooking apron and answered looked through the peephole.

Turning around I walked to the doctor's Lab and knocked on the door. "Doctor, there's someone at the door." I said and he turned to face me.

"Answer it child, I am busy."

I nodded and turned my way back around to the door when the bell rang once more. I answered the door to a tall woman, "Hello." I said placing a fake small smile on my face; I knew somehow that if you smile people seem to relax more, at least in this area of the world.

"Good evening, is the Doctor home?" Looking at her something went off in the back of my mind, it wasn't a warning bell it was something else. I tried to subtly read her closer only to realise that any longer without an answer would be suspicious, so I replied. I don't think she caught onto what I was doing, I'm not sure if I care.

"Yes, he is busy though, could I leave a message?"

"Would I be able to come in?" She inquired carefully. I weighed the pro's and con's in the situation and realised that if she came in as a potential threat then the Doctor could die, if I said no and she was a potential threat, she would kill me and the Doctor.

"Yes." It wasn't because I valued my life above his, because in the end, every life is equally as valuable. It was just the fact that the choice between killing one person, and killing two had really only one obvious answer in this situation. If all else failed, there were at least a chance I'd get to travel the world if the Doctor lived.

"Are you cooking dinner?" She questioned as she sniffed the air. I too could smell the pasta sauce that was one of few recipes I knew. I chose this because they were the ingredients we had in the house. I nodded as I guided her to the kitchen where I continued to cook.

"The Doctor will be out for dinner soon, you will be able to see him then." I glanced at a pot hanging on a hook to my left to see the reflection of the woman. She was smiling softly as she looked around the room, her eyes taking in the sights as I stirred the sauce and drained the pasta.

"My name is Sonja, I'm here to see the Doctor about the assistant job position he was offering." I hadn't heard of this, but it was probably not a need-to-know agenda. I wasn't in charge of his affairs and such as he was towards mine.

"I'm Star." I knew that's what she really told me she was here for; she wanted to know my name. Trying to make conversation. So I continued, I had to learn conversation skills, it was a vital part about life, learning to speak to others, "I live here, and the Doctor is a father to me." He was a father to me, but he wasn't _like _one. I don't know how I knew that, but I did know that he wasn't fatherly to me, he was too sad, I was a failure to him, I wasn't Star.

"Star, that's a nice name, have you finished school?"

"Yes, I was home schooled." That's what the Doctor told me to say when people ask, that and lie about my birthday, I am twenty-one, not a newborn. Lying came naturally. "Are you in a university?" She took of her black glasses and placed them on the desk, I was guessing that those glasses were for looks alone; it's odd how adding a single item can change and alter an entire appearance.

"No, I'm looking for jobs, I want to understand and know Doctors in Science, and I heard that the Doctor is working with Gaius Baltar on the Defence Program." I had seen paperwork on this, equations on the whiteboard helping him try to figure out how to fix and perfect it. The Doctor consumed himself with looking for perfection.

"Yes, he hopes to keep the colonies safe from the Cylons." She smiled as I set the table for the Doctor, her and myself. Something squirmed inside of me. She seemed so familiar as if some part of me knew her. But that was impossible, it must be something wrong with the chemicals in my brain, levelling in a different way then how they're suppose to. Either that or I'm having a malfunction in some weird biological way.

"Do you help him with his projects?" She was careful in asking, as if merely suggesting I was aspiring to be just like him, as if he were a mentor. Though that may seem to others of what it is, I do not appreciate people thinking a lie such as that about myself, so I told her something that had more truth to it.

"No, I'm more like a daughter, I study and do some chores as I stay here." I poured a sustainable amount of pasta into the three white bowls before pouring the sauce upon each helping, leaving the rest of the pasta and sauce to sit in the middle of the table upon a mat so as not to burn the wood with their heat.

"Does the Doctor need to be told that dinner is ready?"

"No, he comes when he is has finished his work, he knows dinner is ready." She went silent at my response. Maybe I was too matter of fact, or maybe she was really looking forward to seeing him. I'm not sure, I couldn't read her like I could read the Doctor, and she kept it closed off inside of her.

After a few moments of what the Doctor would call and awkward silence, though I would just call it silence seeing as how I do not feel the awkward tension that could possibly be in the room, she spoke again, "How long have you been here?" I couldn't lie; I didn't know how to lie to something like that, so I told her the truth.

"Five years, I don't remember much of it." She smiled showing her teeth. They were all perfectly aligned and white as if she too was perfect. I had a feeling the Doctor would allow her to be his assistant, she was perfect, just as I was in every way but what mattered to him the most.

I wasn't Star. I didn't want to be Star, and I couldn't be her, but at the same time, I did wonder what it would be like for him to love me as a daughter and not be disappointed that I wasn't. In some form of way, I think he does love me. Just not like a daughter, not like he loved Star.

"I see you allowed the guest into the house Star." I looked up to see the Doctor come into the room; I didn't smile at him, not even a fake one. He had disapproval in his voice but also he felt as if he had failed again. Blinking I looked down at my dinner and began to eat.

"Don't be harsh on Star, I asked to come in." Sonja said as she stood up. "I'm Sonja Brimms, I came to see you about the assistant job position." She stated adding smoothly a smile into the end of it. She had obviously had practice at what she was doing, no way was she naturally like that, there was no way a human could be.

"Ah, yes we spoke over the phone, how are you?" And just like that, the Doctor forgot all about what I had done. Easily distracted and so simply human, why was I so much more complicated then that? The only pain I've felt so far was the pain when I was inside the tank, the feeling of being trapped. I wonder what it's like to lose the only person that matters to you, the only person that held the world above and off your shoulders. Every human seems to know of it after a certain age, but why don't I?

"I'm well thank you, do you want to discuss matters after dinner?" Sonja queried gently, though her voice was strong, she seemed to want to tread lightly, though I don't know why. The Doctor was harmless from what I could tell, cold yes, but harmless.

"No, now will be fine." As he walked away, I looked at the food. It was just food, but he didn't want it; he never eats what I cook, not in the short time I've been cooking anyway. Does food feel pain? Do animals feel emotions? A lot of people say know, but when I saw a bird outside my window this morning, it seemed to sing of joy and love, does no body else seem to notice the birds singing?

I can hear them discussing things, I can tell by the way the Doctor moves that he's going to accept Sonja, but I can't read anything from Sonja. It's like she has no thoughts to be able to read, they're all locked away and only the necessary things are let out. Though this probably doesn't make sense, the only other way I can make it seem more easier to understand is that she acts like she has a plan but doesn't care much for anything but what step she's up to.

She's in control but she doesn't care.


	3. Chapter Two: Make Amends

Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter Two: Make Amends

Chapter Summary: Sonja comes to work early, a chemical is drunk, and door is opened to mirrors.

A week ago Sonja came for a job, although it was more of an interview then anything else, she did make a lasting impression on the Doctor. I think he wants her to stay, not for good, but at least long enough for a relationship of some sorts. I hear her though, when he's not around, and I know that she'll never like him on a level any more then professional, not even as a friend.

"Hello Star, how are you this morning?" She asked as I flipped pancakes over, the Doctor never ate them, but I made it none of the less, at least Sonja would have one, she liked my cooking, she appreciated it.

"Good morning, would you care for some breakfast?" I think she caught onto the fact that I didn't smile, but she still tried to joke around me for some reason. I think she was trying to get a laugh out of me, or at least a smile. I don't know what laughing feels like, not real laughing anyway.

"That'd be wonderful." She placed the briefcase down beside her and pulled out the chair before sitting down upon it. She always came here an hour early to talk to the Doctor, but he never really talked to her until he was ready, this was around nine, and she always came at seven. For the past week she had spoken to me in the morning until he called for her.

"Toppings?" Lately I've taken care of the garden as a hobby. The flowers are beautiful and though I'm not sure I fully appreciate them, as I should, I know at least in a small way I do. I picked strawberries this morning before the sun rose so the dew was still moist on them. I didn't tell anyone, not yet, but looking after the garden made me feel closer to earth, I liked that feeling so I didn't wear shoes in the garden, I liked to experience the feeling of the mud and dirt under me as I should.

"Strawberries and cream please?" She changed her mind every day about what she wanted on top. It was like she wanted to experience everything but in moderation. She'd had to, to keep looking the way she did, so trim and tight. A lot of girls would be jealous; I wonder what jealously feels like.

"What are you and the Doctor working on today?" I asked, not because I cared, I didn't seem to care much for anything but the garden lately, but because I knew she wanted me to ask her.

"Just some things for Baltar." I nodded slightly as if I knew and cared what she was talking about. I think she knew though. She seemed to have a look in her eye as I sat down in front of her and cut my pancake into smaller pieces. She seemed to read me. Just like how I read her. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. I'll have to process my thoughts to find out.

"Have you met Baltar?" I was curious, I new nothing except was the media told us of him and even then that its self was as most media is, shielded for the public to make them believe what they want them to.

"No, but from what I hear he's an interesting person to talk to." I left it at that, the conversation needed not to continue and there was nothing more to be said.

I packed up the dishes once she'd finished, the Doctors remained where it was as it was, untouched and plain. Eventually I would scrap it into the bin, but until then I went back into the garden. The house was clean for the week; I could spend more time there now. I heard Sonja follow me, it was only seven forty so she had twenty minutes before she was suppose to be here and an hour before the Doctor called her after that.

"So what do you do out here?" She asked sitting on a bench as I trimmed the roses back. I paused for a moment to think of how to answer the question. I could tell her everything I'm doing, but I think she meant generally speaking, or how I was emotionally attached.

"I look after the garden, the earth is very beautiful if you look care of it properly." She smiled at me as she walked around to look at what I've done to care for the garden. I found my muscles in my face twisting; it wasn't a smile I'd try to put on, but a reflex. Should this be natural? Are these the feelings that follow with it? The feeling of fullness in my soul that hurts inside of me, and I also felt the feeling of… joy? No, Pride. I felt pride over the garden.

"Did you grow this garden from scratch?" She asked me as she played with a rose's petal, one from the yellow roses; it had a red edge that curled slightly over.

"No, they were here before I was." I looked up at Sonja and met her eyes, she was smiling and I knew it wasn't a fake one, I could feel the sincerity in the smile as she looked away a song on her lips that she hummed.

"What are you singing?" I asked as I dropped what I was holding to stand near her and listen to the song so it was louder. It sounded familiar but I don't know why, it was so close to me that it felt like it was a snake wrapping around my body. I wanted to feel it all around me. So I closed my eyes and listened.

"It's just a lullaby I've always known."

"Can you sing it?" From the short time I've been out of the tank, I've never felt this want. It was like a terrible lust of music that I should not listen to. I wanted as Sonja too closed her eyes, only this time she parted her lips slowly and tried to find the notes in her voice hushed before she finally sang.

And what beauty came from it. An Angels voice, a sirens.

The music makes me sway and her voice carried up higher into the heavens of this planet. This colony. I memorised each and every note and word she sang before I caught onto the rhythm and beat and joined in, our voice so different but creating this harmonious song that we ceased as soon as we heard the Doctor coming.

Jealously reaved in my possession, I don't want him to hear this beauty; he's done nothing to deserve it. Nothing.

No, that's wrong. Everyone should hear it, what jealously spikes my being? May it stop? I am not human so I do not crave the body like they do, or do I feel the wrath pulse through my being over simple matters. I do not know sin nor should I have to. He may listen when he wishes to.

~X~

Sonja left after dinner; she only came out for lunch, in which the Doctor did not eat once again. I know that he does come out to see if the lunch is there when I am not looking, but he does not ever eat it. I wonder why. It is not poison, because Sonja and myself eat it fine. But maybe he does not like the taste of the food I prepare; maybe Sonja and myself have a warped taste.

Maybe he doesn't care.

"I'll see you tomorrow Star." I smiled at her, I like Sonja, she was nice and the intensity I felt near never changed, she still had her thoughts on the plan, she kept to the plan, but she appreciated me, she did something the Doctor did not.

When I slid beneath the covers of my bed, and looked up at the stars that shone above this planet I sighed in wonder. The Doctor had books on astrology and astronomy, they were both very beautiful to read and the more I read, the more I believed that this world was far too small. I wanted to be in sky and look at all the constellations the book talks about, and see the wonders and horrors of the universe.

I wanted to experience real life.

"Star, are you still up?" I slipped out of the bed and opened the door to the Doctor. "Ah Star, come with me, I need you test something for me in my office." I nodded and followed him through the hallway and down the stairs, as I passed the kitchen I saw his untouched food and sighed, a small sigh that the Doctor would not hear with deficient hearing.

"What do you wish me to test?" As I entered the room, a sudden feeling became over me. Was it fear? I didn't feel safe here, something in this room had my nerves on the edge and I not know what it is.

"Just a simple drink, it shouldn't have any lasting side effects if it doesn't work as it should." Suspicion rose inside of me. What did he mean by those words? No. I definitely did not feel safe. "Don't look at me like that, it's only suppose to improve your metabolism and immune system." I sensed no lie beneath that, so when he handed me the beaker filled with a red translucent drink like cellophane I took a sip.

It tasted like chemicals and my body rejected it but I forced it and the rest of the drink down.

"Now go off to bed Star, I'll see you in the morning and see how the effects go." I nodded slowly, my thoughts drifting elsewhere as I stumbled back into bed. The world has gone topsy-turvy and I felt suddenly exhausted like I had been running on full throttle with all of my adrenaline all at once.

My body collapsed on the bed at an angle that was slowly falling off the bed. I couldn't move, and once I fought to move my weight to keep on, my eyes closed and all of my energy drained away from myself.

Sleep. That's all that echoed in my thoughts. I need sleep.

~X~

When I awoke again, the area was still dark and somebody was in the room. Blinking, I adjusted my eye vision and sat up suddenly, causing a migraine to roll around like spikes on wheels, digging into my brain near the cerebral cortex.

"Hello Star, it's good to see you awake again." I breathed out slowly as the pain slowly softened to thin humming feeling from my natural body sway. Was I off balance? "How are you feeling?" I blinked; someone was talking to me, but why? I recognised the voice, was it the Doctor?

"My… head… hurts."

"I see." I heard a scribble, was it on paper? Was he taking down notes of what has happened to me? "Can you stand?" He asked and I slowly slid off the bed. My body felt weird, different somehow, was I balanced more so? Or less? I stood up like he asked and my body moved a bit once I tried to stand still, before it relaxed in a straight posture. No my balance had improved. More scribbling.

"Where…what… happened?"

"You've been asleep for a few days, Sonja was very worried." Sonja, I remember, she had the beautiful song. I wonder if she'll sing it again for me.

"Ok, go back to sleep Star, when you're better you can come down the stairs." I nodded, I felt so tired again. I moved back into the bed and crawled under the covers. Once I heard the door click behind him as he closed it I fell asleep again. When I awoke next, it was morning. Sitting up I looked into the mirror that was left to my bed. Physically there looked to be no difference, I felt different and I don't know to explain it. It was like there was something added onto you, somewhere, but you didn't know where, you just knew you were feeling like you were before.

Was this good or bad?

I walked out of the bedroom carefully; my migraine had subsided to a near nothing. And as I stepped out of the room, my senses shifted. Everything was so alive, I could hear someone moving downstairs and as I walked down the stairs, my body seemed to move more fluently and in a more graceful movement then how it was before.

When I stepped into the kitchen, I saw Sonja outside in the garden through the window. She was taking care of it. The thin material I wore blew around me once I stepped through the kitchen's back door into the garden. "Thank you." I whispered. She turned to see me as if she had already known I was here, outside.

"I couldn't let a garden like this whither without your careful hand, do you want to take over." I paused. She had been singing. I know because the flowers felt alive from the music. The music that was so full of life.

"Would you see again, the plants become more alive when you sing." She smiled, showing her teeth, and I smiled, hiding my own.

The Doctor didn't come out of his office, and when I finally questioned why Sonja smiled at me. "He doesn't need my help with that at the moment." That's all she said. Suddenly questions spiked up inside of me. But I wasn't sure that I wanted to know the answers, so instead I just relaxed and sang as I worked.

Sonja stopped singing at some point and just listened to me as she watched the birds in the garden's Holly Oak. They seemed to dance with the music as butterflies of all sorts of colours flew around the flowers. Taking care of the garden brought this beauty everyday, but singing with it filled any void that was here.

I stopped when I heard the Doctor coming, I don't know why I stopped singing, but a part of me knew that having him hear such beauty would twist his fragile thoughts.

He was only human after all.

"Good morning Star, have you cooked breakfast yet?"

"I was just finishing the garden's morning schedule before I went onto that, would you like me to begin?"

"Omelette please." He wouldn't eat it, I knew that, but I found myself craving the food that he had spoken. So in turn I stopped and I headed into the kitchen to obtain the ingredients needed for such a meal.

"I'll take some, you're cooking skills are much better then my own." Sonja whispered before she followed the Doctor. A smile crept upon my face when she said that.

And as I cracked a few eggs, pieces of bacon, and some spices into the frypan and mixed it all around is it cooked, my thoughts remained calm. The song hummed in my head as the words whispered through the darkness creating light.

It was all very poetic to myself and I wanted everyone to listen to it, but at the same time I don't think they could hear it the way I could, or feel the music wrap around them like silk. Sliding past my skin and giving a sense of soft comfort, something I wish for everyone to experience. But something I want to hold between Sonja and myself, a secret that I'm confused about.

I slipped the omelette onto three different plates. And placed the tableware down onto the clean tablecloth. Later today I would pick some flowers from the garden that is to be trimmed off, and put in them in a vase to be used as a centrepiece. As soon as I placed the last plate of breakfast onto the table, Sonja exited the lab or the Doctor's office as the Doctor calls it, and came to the breakfast table.

"Smells delicious, I should hire you as a cook so I wouldn't have to come here every morning until after dinner." I grinned at her. I couldn't help it, my muscles twitched in reaction to the chemicals in my brain that had reacted to what my brain translated to them, all in the short time of point half of a second.

"It's nice to have someone eat my meals."

"Yeah, when you were in your room sick, I had to cook my own meals at home and skip lunch, it was horrible, I burnt or under cooked everything." She was joking, and trying to be nice, but at the same time I felt the emotions and the sense of "my heart feeling full" to what she said.

Now I knew why people like compliments and become greedy for them. The feeling was intoxicating.

"It's good that you're well again." I sensed that she knew why I was sick, there was something in her body language and the way she looked at me with those grey eyes that told me something was different about her. Different to how she acted compared to the Doctor and people I've met when I was aloud on the shopping trips.

"I feel much better then I did before." Was all I said as I ate my breakfast. She smiled, and the song in my thoughts turned up louder and the feeling of silk rushed over me all over again.

I didn't even notice the knock on the front door as I listened to my song until Sonja nudged me with her heels under the table, then I heard the sound of an impatient knock on the front door.

I stood up and wiped my face on a napkin before I headed to answer the door. I didn't ask for the doctor's opinion this time, I don't know why, but I felt drawn to answer the door. Once I did I blinked.

I was looking into a mirror.


	4. Chapter Three: Siren's Song

Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter Three: Siren's Song

Chapter Summary: Star gains a new name, the original takes on jobs and the Doctor is at last happy.

I looked again, it wasn't a mirror, she blinked at a different time to myself and her hair wasn't nearly as long as my own. It was Star, the original. I thought she was dead, not alive and kicking.

"So he completed his little project after I left home." I frowned at her, she wasn't like me, and suddenly my body didn't feel so tense. I wasn't a copy in thoughts, they were my own, and I was different to Star, the original star. "Hmm, he didn't tell you I was still alive did he?"

It was strange looking at her; I never guess that I had been cloned, or at least something similar to that of her. I shook my head in answer to her question and she herself frowned, it was different to how I frowned, her chin dimpled when she frowned, mine remained smooth.

"Alright then, can you take me to him?" I nodded, I didn't want to speak to her, I couldn't speak to her, and this was all very strange. Was this what shock felt like? Shock and something else, I suppose it was anger at not been told of Star. That she was still living. So I walked her down to the office, the lab, and my birthplace. She smiled in memory, out the corner of my eye I saw Sonja look at us curiously, not shocked though she rarely ever acted shocked, maybe she was just good at hiding it.

"Doctor, someone is here to see you, it's urgent." I finally said as I knocked on the door. I left straight after that, I didn't want to be there when it happened I think I may cry for the first time if I did stay.

"Hey, do you have a twin?" Sonja asked when I returned the kitchen, I shook my head no and I could feel the understanding wash over her. "Do you want to tell me?" I didn't know, I was so lost, and I think she noticed that, because she stood up and walked in front of me, lifting my chin to meet her eye to eye. "He won't kick you out." She said strongly and I felt the doubt creep up inside of me.

Oh god, I was turning more and more human, doubting the words of someone who would know more then me.

"You have a right to live here, so don't worry." She reassured me but I didn't really hear it. I mean, the words were there, I knew what she was saying and at the same time I understood, but…

"I've never felt pain before." I said looking down below the ground, just below everything. "Not like this, I felt raged when I first woke up, I have felt sadness when he never ate what I cooked and I have felt happiness listening to songs in the garden." I squeezed my eyes tightly closed, my hands clenched, "but I've never felt this." I didn't want anyone to hear necessarily what I was saying; I just needed to process my thoughts aloud. Sonja knew that, she understood.

Distantly, far away from where her thoughts and set of mind were, she heard the Doctor talking, begging Star to stay. The first Star, the original one. I could hold nothing against Star, the girl had done nothing wrong but at the same time I wanted to hate the girl. Her coming here only weeks after my own birth was breaking me.

"Come on, let's go outside." There was no question in the sentence and maybe that was why I, though shakily, walked with Sonja outside.

Thoughts confused me, this wasn't Star's fault, this wasn't about myself and I shouldn't make it seem so. Star had returned this was everything the Doctor had ever wanted. And yet… I didn't care, I just wanted him to realise who I was. I wasn't real to him and maybe that was what was upsetting me, because I never saw him as my father, not like a real one. Not like Star did.

Even out here, I could feel their happiness at returning to each other. Though I knew Star wasn't showing that to her father. "Star?"

"Her name is Star, not mine, I'm just a fake." I felt it, the flinch, as if I had slapped Sonja across the face. Had I offended her some way? Was it my tone in speech, humans could be so sensitive. Wait. Was that why I was hurting, because I was turning more and more human? Should I rejoice or cry over this fact?

"The end of the world is coming soon." She whispered and I believed her.

~X~

The house was silent except for the soft slumbers of the guest and the Doctor. Star slept in her room and the Doctor his; I lay awake in my own, wanting Star to have never come here. I knew that by morning she would be making breakfast, breakfast the Doctor _would_ eat, and once I saw this I knew my heart would break. I was different to how I was when I first awoke, but now I was… I was scared.

Sonja had left for her own home only two hours ago, one hour ago I left for bed. I wished to have followed Sonja, taken her up on the offer to sleepover at hers while my thoughts settled, but I had to be here, I had to know, even if it hurt.

I was beginning to understand these feelings, which was the scary thought. I felt jealousy but I pushed it down and accepted that the Doctor wanted Star here, I felt wrath, which I ignored, I was beginning to feel greed and as the books explained these feelings and sins I began to understand that I was turning more and more human, though I wasn't. And I was happy, _proud_ that I wasn't.

I read a lot, the more I read, the more I understand. The fiction, the non-fiction, the pure facts and the biographies I read them all. I study and examine these books fast, greatly faster than humans, I was meant to take in information fast, whether it was an accident or by design I didn't know.

Someone was happy in the darkness. Their feelings washed over me like Sonja's song. Was it Star's? I believe it is. Her dreams are of happiness, she wanted to be home so much and now she was. I wish she had been dead; she was going to be the cause of Sonja or I being kicked-out or even fired. Whether she did one job or the other. It was theoretically impossible for her to do both; she didn't have enough energy or time. Both were fulltime jobs, if she included the garden.

I fell asleep, into a darkness trance. Only woken up by the sounds of banging in the kitchen once morning had risen.

I came downstairs to see her and the Doctor eating at the table together, it seemed, Sonja would be here soon. I lightly stepped behind them without either of them really noticing myself, lost within their own stories. My name- with the word, clone attached to it- was spoken of twice.

Once outside in the garden I looked up at the sunlit flowers, damp with the morning dew and I felt peace overcome me. All the sins pushed into a little box to be forgotten of for a small quantity of time. "Good morning Star." I turned my head only a few degrees to see Sonja wearing a lovely black dress with a simple gold chain.

"That's her name now." I replied, strangely enough I didn't care for her to hear my voice to how it felt inside of me. Broken.

"Would you rather change it?"

"To what name shall I change it too?"

"Morning Star?" I smiled, a simple change, I did like mornings, but I'm not sure I still do. Sonja looked at me strangely before she smiled. "Morning Star's are the most beautiful." A compliment she spoke, one that caused me to relax a little for a reason or another.

"Morning Star's are only as beautiful as the person perceives them to be." I believed, before I imparted so to her.

She did not oppose to what I said, though I could near smell the scent of full belief, in a sense I guess she knew that some beauties everyone could tell was there by one of the fifth senses that humans carry. I seem to notice that they have dulled senses compared to my own.

I didn't go inside that day and neither did Sonja, she was not called and I was not asked for. But we spoke to each other and I remained within the garden, not wishing to leave its serenity. Every few moments in time, while I worked and Sonja watched, we would sing, beginning in the same instances as if knowing the other was about to resonate music from their lips as well. It had a calming affect on myself, though it seems that Sonja was constantly calm.

~X~

I was in the garden again, _my_ garden, the next morning. I had decided that the Garden belonged to me, and that I could do whatever I wanted with it. Part of me wanted to burn it, the rest of me wanted to grow something so beautiful that Star would be enraged with blind hatred and jealously.

I had yet to rename myself.

When Sonja sat down by me on the blanket I had laid out for us, she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and pulled me in tightly. I relaxed into her, and just listened to what the birds said. They were still singing, but not of joy.

"I want to grow something." I whispered as the silence became unbearable to me, I needed an opinion, to see if my thoughts weren't just muddled with fear-filled jealously of losing an almost father. "Something that Star never could."

"You have a beautiful garden that she doesn't own, it florists with such specimens of beauty that she couldn't even try to reach, why not think about changing your name first." Her words soothed my mind. She was right; the first thing to do is to change my name to something else, something… _perfect_.

"I want my name to be natural, something uncommon but natural, I like being part of the earth."

"Earth then, or Earth-Star."

"Earth-Star." I echoed, the corner of my lips rising up. "How-"

"Perfect." She finished for me, and I turned my head to face her, by her body language, she looked calm, elegant, secure and at-ease. But in her eyes, she was both happy for me and sad for someone, or something. We didn't speak after that. I went back to weeding, watering, harvesting and fertilizing the plants, _my_ plants. And Sonja watched.

Part of me wondered if she was actually interested or if it was all just an act. _But why would she need to act around me?_ I asked, and then some part of me spoke, _because she's not human, the way she walks, talks, acts, thinks, _is,_ is not human, it's above human, she's like you_. Though I doubted that this was true, I did not push it out of my brain.

Nothing was impossible. I thought it was impossible that I actually looked like Star, but we were identical at first glance, but she had grown up in a different environment, a loving one, I grew up without knowing that I was. It was loveless.

"Tomorrow the war begins." My lips said without my permission. I hadn't meant to think aloud, I hadn't meant for the thought to pass, but it did, and it had. Why?

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to live in the house anymore, but I want the garden, I refuse to eat her food, but I need to eat, I want to win, but it is not possible, the doctor should have his daughter, but I should be equally treated." A sharp pain hit behind my eyes, and I crouched, clutching my head.

"Star?" She asked without a question spoken. I wanted to say it wasn't my name, but from her lips it was, she was calling me, and it was my name. Not Star's, mine. The pain in my head grew intense and I started to cry. Pain, real pain, now I know what it feels like. I should be happy, but all I feel in pain and fear. Another emotion I wanted to feel, I regret wishing for it.

"Shh." Sonja whispered, "It's ok." The pain dulled slightly and I started to cry. Arms were wrapped around me protectively, lovingly. Hope. That's what I felt now; hope that everything would be ok.

"I don't want to be here." My voice was muffled in her shirt, and I felt disgusted at how I was acting, but relieved, I hadn't realised what I was keeping bottled, it had been inside of me, a secret from even myself. Closet emotion, how I detest thee.

"I'll take you home." She whispered as she picked me up, carrying me like a child as I wrapped my arms around her neck. _Comfort_. I thought as my mind began to drift away, _this is what I need._ And then I fell asleep.

~X~

I did not awake in my bed, but in a large bed. I knew I wasn't at the Doctor's house because when I opened my eyes, I saw warm colours, they were probably the same as the Doctor's house, but here it was warm, it felt like how a home was suppose to feel. Loved. Cared for. Happy.

I sat up, and saw a tray with pancakes, laid out with cream and fresh berries a top of it. There was a glass of fresh juice, that I could smell, and a small bowl of yoghurt. My stomach rumbled, and I sat up and lifted the tray to me. It was set out with such delicacy and flawlessness that I felt, once again, the sensation of a "full heart".

I ate slowly, tasting everything, and enjoying it, and when I had finished, I picked it up and went to walk around the house. But the moment I touched the door handle, it swung open and Sonja stood in a white dress with a tanned coat. She was not wearing her usual accessory of glasses, nor did she look like she was going to see the Doctor.

"I'll put this in your kitchen then I'll make the bed-" Sonja stopped me by just a look. A single, stare that saw deep inside of me before pulling out everything and leaving me bare of my walls that I had built.

"You need to stop and relax." She took the tray from my grasp. The moment the wood left my finger tips, the feeling of being treated like a child passed over and I looked up at Sonja with sad eyes, "You need some time away from the Doctor, he knows where you are, he was worried you know." She was lying, "And when your feeling better you can go back, until then you can either go back to sleep, read a book, or watch something on the television."

After telling her what I wanted to do, Sonja took me to her books, she didn't have a large amount, but she did own interesting books. I picked one up at random and began reading it as I listened to Sonja singing as she cleaned up around the house. Clanking of plates been put in the dishwasher, vacuuming, and the shuffling of footsteps were just background noise to her singing.

Eventually she sat down on the armchair beside me and curled up with a book of her own. A Romance novel, something I hadn't read. Romance novels were trashy novels, they were meant to make people swoon here and had impossible ideas of love. But who am I to judge if that's true? I've never experience love, I'm scared to, I know about kissing, romancing, wooing, serenading and all things romantic and passionate. But I've never seen them happen in reality.

"Sonja?"

"Yes?" She looked up, and I saw she was wearing her glasses again, they suited her personality.

"Have you ever experienced love?" She paused for a moment, though not in surprise, Sonja paused for thought, as if deciphering what I said. I was strangely curious as to why she wasn't surprised at my question, a normal human would have been, why not her?

"I know what it is to share a bond with someone, I know what it is to have a family, and I know what it is to please someone to such an extent it is dangerous, but no, I don't know love."

"What of sex?" A lot of human's would be shy, or bashful in a situation like this, but why should I be embarrassed? What is embarrassing about such a simple question? Nothing.

"Yes."

"What's it like?"

"With the right person, it can be a beautiful thing, it can be pleasurable or the best thing you'll ever know, but with the wrong person it can be the opposite, or something that will tear your soul apart." Her glasses slipped down slightly as she looked at me, "Have you ever liked someone from a distant?"

Before I answered, I thought about the question, thought about what she meant, before I shook my head, "no, not that I know of." I said, but it didn't feel right saying it. "At least… I don't think." I whispered at the end, suddenly confused.

"Love is when sacrificing yourself is easy." She said, "And saving them is always first priority." She smiled at me before glancing down at her book.

"Thank you." I whispered as more questions divided and expanded in my head, wanting to be answered. But I had asked enough for now.


	5. Chapter Four: Sweetly Bad

Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter Four: Sweetly Bad

Chapter Summary: Earth Star is away from home when Sonja suggests driving Star mad by looking better then her.

"I've never gone clothes shopping, only shopping for groceries and garden utensils, that's all I spent my money on." Sonja shook her head, and with a hand in the mid of my back, she led me through the shops and straight to the section of dresses. I spun around, my eyes staring over everything in their colours, sizes, materials, length and styles. They were all so different but similar enough to go under the single category of "dress".

"It's-"

"Large is it not? Come on, you need a dress and some clothes that suit your needs and make you look good." She took a glance at me, "That way you'll look better then Star." Her hand slid in mine for comfort and as she did, a wave of relief passed over me. Everything was going to be ok, better then ok even.

Sonja led me to racks and isles of feminie clothing as she looked around, her eyes glancing over everything before a smile lifted her lips. "What?" I asked. Though I didn't know what I was asking.

"We'll start with lingerie, then sleepwear, before moving onto to everything else and ending with formal wear." So many clothes for so many different occasions. I was pulled into racks of clothes as Sonja called over a woman, whom then measured me before finding many bras, underwear and even strange items I wasn't sure what were for.

Maybe I should read more romance novels.

I walked into the change rooms, not understanding how it all worked, I wore bras, but only sports, the one that was to clip on, I wasn't sure how to do one up, I wasn't even sure how to fit in properly. I stood in the change rooms, with my shirt off, starring at the bra confused for about two minutes before I heard a knock on the side of the curtain door.

"Something wrong?"

"I don't know how to use one, I never was taught, I never owned…" I trailed off, not knowing how to answer correctly. Sonja slid in, and took a look at how helpless I looked before she softly turned me around to face the mirror and clasped up by bra.

"Your breasts should sit correctly on the wire." She whispered and I frowned confused. I had my hands clasped in front of me, and a few strands of hair had fallen into my face. I was disappointed with myself. "Hush, don't worry, you didn't have a mother did you?"

I shook my head and she smiled softly, in comfort.

"Here." She slid a hand into my bra, and I gasp as her warm hand cupped my breast and sat in upon the wire correctly, instantly I felt the difference between the two breasts until she slid the other hand through the black lace and placed that breast correctly. Looking into the mirror, I saw how the breast curved correctly, alike but different, to how Sonja's looked through the dress.

My eyes glanced to my face, and as they did, my eyebrows pressed closer together in confusion. My cheeks looked like they had been pinched to red, or from biting cold or even from heat. I wasn't embarrassed, at least I don't think that I am, but I could feel the pounding blood in my face that bit like the spits of a dancing ember.

"Do you need help trying on others?" I nodded. I was still unsure how the bra worked, still confused.

Her fingers were smooth against my skin as they grazed against it to undo the clasp. "Sonja?" A new question emerged into my thoughts.

"Yes?" She looked distracted, but she sounded like she had always been listening for my voice.

"Does kissing hurt with the wrong person?"

"No, not physically, emotionally it can." She slid the bra off my shoulders before picking up a red one, "Have you ever kissed someone?" She asked as her hands brushed my hair from my back to over a shoulder of mine.

"No." I responded, "Is that bad?"

"No." I could hear her smiling.

"It involves practice doesn't? To become a good kisser, to know how it works?" Sonja looked at me in the mirror, meeting my reflection's eyes. Before smiling deviously. I twisted around to face her, the red bra done up but sitting wrongly on me. Distracted, I went to fix it, trying to remember how Sonja did it.

"Here," She said, spinning me around halfway to the side, and pulling me close to her, I could feel the warmth of her body as she reached around me and showed me. "Like this, it's your body, you should be caring of it." As her finger brushed over a sensitive part of breast, a rugged breath escaped my lips as a chill fell down my spine, cooling my warm body for a fraction of time.

I felt her lips curl upwards, next to my ear, in a large smirk.

When she went to pull her hand away, mine snatched her wrist, "What…why…how…?" Her thumb curved in the red material and another quiet shudder fell down my spine as my eyes closed. Pleasure. That was what it was.

"No." She said, her beautiful face in my hair, as her lips dragged down my neck. She weakly tried to pull her hands out of my grasp. I knew she didn't want to stop, I could feel my body wanting more, like a drug addiction, just one hit drove me into insanity. No. Like Sonja had whispered, I repeated in my head. Before I let go of the grip on her hand I had, and felt her slowly pull out.

"We should move on to sleepwear." I told Sonja. But my eyes were on the mirror, and our faces. _No._ How could such a determined word have the opposite meaning when whispered?

-

Bags and bags on clothes were in our hands. And when we finally arrived back at Sonja's house, we placed them neatly on the entrance floor.

"You know, I've only seen you wear three different dresses."

"Yes." She had been telling me, and I had been agreeing with her, how strange. "But now I have so many to choose from each day." I looked at the piles of bags, of different assortments, colours and materials, each with something different in it. "Maybe I should go home today." My eyes never left the bags on the floor, "I think staying the night was enough-"

"You're staying the weekend." She told me. "You need time apart, and another night won't kill you." I felt her eyes on me; "I have a spare room you can store the clothes in for the night." I heard her step closer to me; I could feel her presence lingering just behind my body.

"Thank you." The word rolled of my tongue, feeling like something forgotten. I picked as many bags as I could get off the ground before following Sonja, who had somehow grabbed more bags, then me. How does a woman like her pull of carrying luggage and still looking graceful? She walked like a cat, carefully placed movements that had no real meaning behind them. They were there, they were perfect, but there was no _real_ reason behind them.

The room she led me to, was across from her room. It was empty of all belongings; I assumed it once had been auxiliary bedroom or a small study, regardless; it was now bare of everything except my bags. Mine. Not Stars, but mine.

The room had a warm yellow wall, and smooth, wooden panelling on the floor, I could feel that it was real, I can't explain it any other way then the fact that the wood sung to me through my feet, a soft humming of post-death nature. But it was nature all the same. One, wide window lit the room, bringing the soft light of a near sunset that was only a few hours away. The birds were still singing.

She exited the room and when she did, I closed the door behind her, the wooden, oval handle smooth in my grasp as the door clicked shut.

"Do you have a spare bedroom?" I asked. Curiosity getting the better of me once more caused me to ask, but basic, instinctive etiquette made my voice come out neutral.

"No, I only moved in here this year, I haven't had the time to fully furnish the house." I nodded. Unsure of how to reply to her, but knowing that nothing was needed. Though, strangely, a part of me seemed to want to say something. Silence was not my friend anymore. Why? "Would you like a coffee?" I frowned; the Doctor never had coffee in his house, only herbal teas. She read my expression like a hard-to-miss sign, before leading me to the kitchen.

I watched her as she turned the kettle on and began pulling out equipment and a bitter smelling substance.

"One for the pot," she showed me, "And one for each person who wants a coffee." She placed three spoonfuls of coffee into what I assumed was a plunger. Something I had read about. Two mugs were pulled out of a higher cabinet, and a bowl of sugar with a tasteful spoon was placed in front of the mugs.

"Coffee is a drug."

"Yes." She said smiling, "I hope you don't have a bad chemical reaction to it, some people can't have coffee." She poured boiled water into the plunger before pushing the "plunger" its self, down slightly and pouring the coffee into two mugs. Placing a small amount of cream and two sugars in each.

"Sonja, would I be able to borrow a book from you?"

"The romance novels are on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in the lounge room," she told me, her eyes flickering up as she finished her sentence. As her fingers stirred the tasteful spoon, the aroma of sweet, bitter coffee filled the room and my eyes seem to dilate for an instant as it hit my nostrils.

"Smells good." I murmured as she handed me the mug. The second my tongue taste the hot liquid, it rolled, and I swallowed. I waited as my brain processed the flavour before I smiled. It was good, very good.

We talked, not about coffee, or books, but about home. My home. Was it really my _home_ though? She told me that I could leave, but I wouldn't. I wanted to, but something inside of me, deep beneath the surface, said that staying there was the best thing. I didn't tell her about that last part, just that I needed to be there.

Later she went out for groceries, and she told me to stay here, at her house, so she knew where I was. While she was gone, I read through her romance collection. Every word, every page, every sentence had me captivated. Women were falling for men, who had hurt them, strong women falling under weak men's spells, Men falling for their captive. Women falling for their tortures, people who had _raped_ them.

It was all so confusing, and a lot of the plot lines were so very wrong. But some of the writing styles, the ones that flew together, and you could see it happening in your mind, as clear as if you were standing there, they were beautiful.

It wasn't just reproduction most of the time, and even more of the time, it wasn't even love, but reading it, though it confused me, was exciting in its self. Never before have I touched such a deadly sin so. How could such a sin feel so good, deep down into the core of your being?

Lust. The only word that was in my head, repeating over and over once more. Why? Because I want it more then I want to breath, I want what other women, men and even adolesce have felt. I want to feel the rush.

But I do not want such a human feel to be seen. So I lock it up, next to the wrath and jealously I have for Star. Only three sins I know. Only one I enjoyed having.

-

I served dinner, to say thank you, though Sonja tried to protest until she turned away and whispered, "you look happiest in the garden, but the serenity of cooking seems to bring out your soul." I don't know what that is supposed to mean, and instead of asking what she meant, I pretended I didn't hear her.

I didn't cook anything exotic, just steaks and a nice salad. Sonja had bought a small double chocolate cheesecake she wanted me to try, and a few bottles of a tasteful wine that she told me was her favourite. It was supposed to be me saying 'thank you for helping me' but with the cake and wine, it looked more like a dinner between two friends, or something. I'm not sure. I hope the thanks is still there.

We sat at the small dining table that seated, comfortably, four people. The wine bottle sat in the middle of the table with the set out food.

"Lovely food." Sonja complimented before lifting the glass of red to her lips and taking a single sip before setting the glass near exactly where it had been before.

"I really like the wine," I said in return, "it compliments the steak well." Sonja smiled at me before eating the last piece of her steak. Neither of us went for seconds on the food, but together, we polished off the first bottle of red. We moved onto the cake after putting the leftovers into the fridge, after wrapping them. Conversation remained light before we took our glasses, and the second bottle of red, out onto the balcony that sat a foot higher off of the no-to distant beach.

"It's beautiful out here." I murmured, afraid that speaking too loudly would ruin the peace and tranquillity that could be seen.

"I love the peace of water, it always becomes settled and calm if you leave it alone, but the ocean its self, as peaceful as it is, forever is alive, living forever." I looked at Sonja, she wasn't wearing her glasses, and the dress she wore seemed to curl around her in the light, warm night's wind. The way her voice spoke had been distant, as if she was talking about something else, someone. Herself.

I watched Sonja's body lean against the railing of the balcony, her arms on the railing its self, with a single hand clutching the glass of a half full red wine. Her lips were parted, tasting the air, and her eyes closed so that her body could feel everything without a distraction. I looked at her heel-clad shoes, and wondered. Not about her feet, but about her, everything about her.

It was all so strange to me, so distant. The surrounding world was here, but not.

And then, the little box of thoughts in my mind opened, and I remembered the books I had read, where bare moments like this had happened, only to have the man kiss the damsel. There was neither a male nor a damsel here. So what was to happen? Was this like a romance novel?

No.

I was incapable of love. I wasn't human, only human's felt the infatuation of chemicals settling correctly in the brain that was to-be, "true love". Love doesn't exist. It was and is only a reaction to chemicals that are set off in the brain telling people to mate, telling them they will have the perfect child.

I don't know if I can reproduce, but I'm sure that I can't love, I don't have the right body chemistry to do so.

And yet, yet I feel lust.

Twisting my head side ways, I leaned in front of the banister and in front of Sonja before grazing my lips on hers. My eyes were closed, but I felt the rush of air of a gasp, though one longing so. Then I felt the hand, a single one slip around my body, twisting it so we were at a more comfortable angle.

I wasn't human, but tasting her, feeling her, I felt something in human about her, something… off.

I didn't care. I _don't_ care.

"What is no?" I asked, the question, I knew, only she would understand.

"Not this." She replied.

-

I woke up from the couch, I had expected, what call, a hang over. But nothing abnormal happened.

I sat up properly and looked at the time, it was still morning. As I was packing up the blankets that had been laid across me, I remembered the kiss that I had given Sonja, and the one she had returned to me. There was nothing more neither nothing less, just that, a kiss separated in two.

I went into the spare room, my thoughts still on the kiss, as I placed as many things into as little bags as possible without ruining anything. After a length of time, I heard the footsteps of Sonja before the door opened.

"You've cut down on half the bags." She told me, I hadn't actually noticed, but I did realise that I was now able to carry everything without relying on her help. "I'll give you breakfast before I take you home, at least let me give you a coffee." She wasn't asking, she was telling me what she was planning on doing. And I liked that confidence.

So I nodded at her, before I placed the bags neatly against the wall, and placed the empty ones into each other. I would leave the empty ones here, I'm sure Sonja would find some use for them.

When I reached the kitchen, Sonja passed me a mug of coffee, exactly the same as it had been made before. Before she guided me into a seat and told me she was making me breakfast whether I liked it or not. I was hungry, so I didn't protest loudly.

I saw the bottle of red sitting out on the balcony, through the window, two glasses sitting next to, all three empty. Had the wine influenced my actions?

I didn't care. I just knew that was as far as I had planned to get with her. A kiss was all I wanted to experience. At least, in that moment in time.


	6. Chapter Five: Bound and Stolen

Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter Five: Bound and Stolen

Chapter Summary: It is obvious to Earth Star that Star had planned to kill her.

The doctor had greeted me with nothing more then a single, simple nod, before talking to Sonja whom had dropped me off barely five minutes ago, I could still hear them talking, - low murmuring that I knew that if I stepped any closer I would hear the formed words - but I respected both the Doctor's and Sonja's privacy enough that I wouldn't step any closer to find out what it was about. Deep in the back of my thoughts I knew it was about I.

"Hello clone." Star greeted rather smugly as she sat on the table, at first she looked smug, but under closer inspection I could see that she was tired, and by the looks of how her hands clenched the table, she was slightly jealous of me. Was it my new clothes or the fact that Sonja didn't even look at her?

I didn't care; I just was satisfied with her emotions. How quaint for satisfaction to edge my lips.

"Good morning Star." I didn't bother correcting her with my name, it was my name now and she couldn't have it. For her foul wrong mouth to form the two syllabus wording that was my name was wrong to a level I wish not to discuss.

I was Earth, I was of the earth and I had been a star, ergo I am Earth Star, but Star to Sonja, and only to her. For it were only Sonja's lips that formed the monosyllable, four-letter word that was my name ever so efficiently and some more, and to be a cliché, each letter was a form of poetry in its self.

"How was your weekend?" I cocked my head slightly to the side, analysing her more in detail. And as I did, I uncovered something strange, not only was she jealous of me but she wanted me dead and not in a metaphoric way, I could see the loathing in how her smile tightened and her eyes crinkled slightly in a tired way. She had spent hours plotting how to she would kill me. And I knew the Doctor wouldn't hate her if I disappeared, he wouldn't notice me if I were gone either.

"Good." I replied, I no longer felt pleasure from her expression but instead felt distaste in her presence that was closely near to me. So instead of waiting for her leave, I went to my room and placed the bags on my bed, transferring them into a large suitcase – a job that kept my mind off most things.

Something told me I would need it in this casing more then I would need to wear them around the house.

"Star?" A voice called, and I knew by how my head automatically responded to the voice that it was of Sonja's. I turned to the doorway to see her leaning against the door, a blank expression covering her face and hiding all emotions from me once again. She walked over to me in her careful cat-like steps, her eyes never leaving my own as she stood in front of me.

"She's planned my murder." I told her plainly, and I could see that Sonja, without even having to say anything, agreed with me completely. Nothing was said as she leaned forward, her hand on the side of my face as she tilted my head up and bound our lips together in a single movement. I felt her fiery tongue pass between my lips and my own dance to hers before we both pulled out tongues back.

Her lips sat between and below my lips, letting me taste her sweet essence. I may never know love, but this lust that I feel now, that has entrapped us together is now simply undeniable taking over my central control. How wrong that was to lose my main thoughts, but how much better I've felt from it.

"You're safe from all harm." She murmured near laughing at the idea of anything else, while she was pulling my lips with hers in an ellipse of time. And then I felt a sharp electric shock, and my eyes flashed open as my mind remembered something, but the moment the memory came onto my tongue, it was gone. A mental sock that stole my memories had now given me something.

I knew now, for sure that Sonja was not human. I looked up at her, to see if she had passed that fact on, and as her smile turned into a large grin, that could only be described as the Devil's smile, I knew the answer to my own question. She knew that I knew, and she also knew that I knew that she knew.

What did this all mean?

"Good bye Star." She said and I knew that this time it was a true good bye, not for an eternity or forever, but for a certain length of time that I could not perceive at _this_ moment in time. I knew with certainty that she had finished what she wanted to be here for, I knew now that she had done something and that it was to do with either me or what she had been helping the Doctor with. Thr defence mainframe for Doctor Baltar was it? I've forgotten.

"Good bye Sonja." I watched her straighten to an automatic posture as she turned and left, barely glancing back. My fingers touched the material of what I had been reaching for before I had heard Sonja's sweet voice, but the sense of touch on my hands were numb, everything was numb except my lips and my mouth.

My mouth was humming with electrical impulses.

-

It was lunchtime, and I was sitting in my garden in a new outfit. My hair, as it always was, was out naturally but looking better then Star's. She had been jiggling on the balls of her feet, contemplating which time best suits to kill me. She's been dancing around poison, I've seen the vial, but it won't affect me, it might affect my body, but I would be ok. I was safe from all harm because Sonja said so, and I believed it with every fibre of my being.

"Why did you return to here?" Her voice was soft, but the meaning behind the words screamed out loud and clear. She wanted to know why I had returned, why I didn't stay with Sonja and just never come back. I didn't know the answer, so I lied.

"Because it's my home."

"I saw you." She said, her eyes glaring at me and I realised that she had a different colour to me, how strange.

"When?" Her question struck me as odd; of course she had seen me, was I not here not, talking to her? Why would she say something so obvious that stated a fact alike that. IT made no sense to me, but then again, she was Star I was Earth.

"I saw you and Sonja, in your bedroom, she's using you." She wasn't. Sonja had no reason to use me for anything, I was of no use to her and she of no use to me, and yet we liked each other's company. Star's comment had no affect on me, and when she realised, she threw in another insult, "Dad never loved you." I blinked. That one did have an effect. And she realised it instantaneously as the wall I built to keep my emotions down suddenly and quite quickly, came tumbling down without a sound.

I believed her words without a doubt. The Doctor never loved me, could never love me. I was his creation but not his child, he didn't raise me as he had raised Star, and he didn't have the attachment he had with her. My head was done, and my long hair, longer then Star's, acted like a curtain, keeping her face out away from me. But her words still penetrated through my curtain.

"The only reason he created you was so that he had me to talk to, but you know what, you were a failure, you're nothing like me, you'll never be like me and you never will be." At those words I looked up. Pain was in the back of my throat, and my eyes stung from trying to hold everything back. But at those words, I knew something.

"I'm not you." I told her, "I never will be you because I don't want to be, I am not Star, I am not human, I am not selfish, vain, and full of jealousy, wrath or sin, because I am of the Earth I am Humanity's wayward child and I will bring my wrath down upon you if you _dare_ try to rid of me." My eyes flashed darker and my body tingled like electricity ran through my veins as life support, "This is my home, more then it ever was yours." I watched her shudder as I dared to take a step closer, "and the Doctor may love you more, but I am more then you." She trembled, from anger, from fear and from frustration.

In the end she turned and ran, back to her father, her _daddy_.

I was of the earth, I was no longer angry for I had won. And as good as it felt I did not care for it much. Winning meant little to me now, I have realised something from the time I spent with Sonja and from the anger I felt then; I was not human and because of that I could see all of humanity's flaws and know that I am nothing alike them.

I was better. The Doctor made sure of that.

The earth hummed under my bare feet, it hummed of growth and it hummed to be taken care of. Star had placed her time with the house and the Doctor, not to my garden, leaving weeds to grow, plants without needed water and fruit unpicked.

I went inside and grabbed my utensils and the basket I used to hold the utensils and the fruits, vegetables, herbs and spices. I felt Star crying and I heard the Doctor's anger that was directed at me. But I also knew now that he was scared of what he had created. I had shown little to none emotion, and suddenly, out of no where in his point of view, I had shown such a violently strong emotion that he was scared that he'd created a beautiful monster.

But monsters were still capable of love, were they not?

It did not matter to me. I wish to experience love, but I long for the closure of lust, the fulfilment and satisfaction once one's ends are met. Why must my thoughts return to such sexual predicaments?

I turned back to the living things that I've nurtured for all the time I've been here. And in doing so, I sung, needing to feel the song upon my lips once more, knowing that Sonja was no longer on this planet, was she on a Battlestar, a space shuttle, or even maybe a different colony? No. Something told me that she was elsewhere.

As I reached to pull out a weed that was trying to grow to kill my most favoured flowerbed, a sound pierced in my ears. It was a distinct sound that could not be mistaken by anything else. It was the sound of someone pulling the trigger of a gun. I turned to see where the gun was, but as I stood up, the basket still in my arms, I realised the shooting had came from inside.

Someone was dead.

I didn't run, but I didn't just walk either. But when I arrived inside, I saw all I needed to see. Star had a gun in her hands and there was blood and brains splattered all across the kitchen wall. She had committed one of the highest sins, suicide. Something most religions don't take kindly to.

The Doctor came running into the kitchen, and the first thing he saw was me holding the basket as I stood over Star, looking down at her in wonder, my bare feet close to the blood that was beginning to pool around me. I could still feel the thrum of her body as it tried to register that it was dead.

Communication hadn't reached the heart yet, due to the fact that that part of the brain hadn't been hit.

"What-"

"She's still alive."

"We need to save her." He was panicking, but I knew that there was nothing that could be done; her essence was no longer in the body. I reached forward and with two hands I crouched down, my dress absorbing blood with its white soft material.

"There's no point." I told him, "She's dead, but her body is not."

"What…" He asked, still not understanding what was going on around him. His daughter was dead, but something was wrong about it, why did she kill herself? She had no reason to, especially not in the kitchen.

I reached for her neck, holding it carefully in my hands; it was strange how such a delicate thing could support such a vital function. I twisted it sharply and felt the sicking crack in my hands. "Her body is now dead." I told him and he sunk to his knees, he was on some level, understanding what was going on, but the majority of him was still confused.

"You… killed her."

"No, she was dead, her body was simply a vessel so I terminated it." He blinked, looking from her to me. "I believe she was aiming for me." I said as I looked from the possibility of where she had been standing. The window was open, though I knew it hadn't been earlier, and from her expression, she looked surprised, confused.

The surroundings of the body, what the air held, told me that she'd felt rage directed towards me and only to me. She'd been aiming for my body when her gun had misfired, killing her. How… quaint. I looked at the gun; the way material on the back of the gun looked as if the bullet had, for some reason, gone backwards into her forehead. At such a close range you see why there blood everywhere; the bullet seemed to have exploded inside of her.

But she felt no pain, her body did, but she did not.

Near me, The Doctor was going over and over again, both through voice and mind, that his daughter was dead. He wasn't crying yet, but soon he would be, and then his emotions would turn to wrath and he would come after me. I wasn't afraid, The Doctor didn't know how to handle a gun and it would be a while before he was emotionally stable to even come up with a plan that could successfully kill me.

But knowing how strongly he had loved his daughter, surprise wouldn't suffice enough to explain if he didn't try to kill me before he was emotionally stable. And that could take any time from months to years.

-

I sat in my bed, acutely aware of the fact that Doctor was standing outside my door. His feet had stood upon a loose floorboard, and he shuffled his feet to come here, not to mention a small amount of his shadow creaked through just under my wooden door. He was waiting for me to be asleep, but I was deeply emersed in reading.

I was up to my ninth book, and it was on the topic of Cylons. The realisation of Sonja had struck me and I wondered what exactly she was. I had read pages and pages upon pages of Cylons, but everything pointed to them looking quite alike to a toaster. There were fictional stories of androids and humanoids, but not humanoid Cylons made to look, smell, act and feel human.

I heard the doctor change footing as he leaned in closer to the door. He could still hear me flicking through the pages as I read through them, each word memorised into my brain.

There were few things that were like me, I wasn't a clone, I acted differently to Star, and my thought pattern and skills were of a higher level. That was not a vain thought that was just simply fact. I pulled another book into my grasp, "Genetic manipulation" a book that was either created before the Cylon incident, or it was bought of the black market. My eyes flickered through it, picking up the words and transferring them into a part of my brain that I could easily find.

I have had genetic manipulation done to me, but nothing like how this explained. MY sense had been heightened, and my balance perfected. I also was susceptible to the sixth sense that most animals carried, the knowing of what hung in the air, of what was dead and alive by the pheromones that were released in the air, which also acted as showing what emotions animals, though mainly humans, felt.

I was special. I wasn't human and unlike how a lot of characters in books felt about finding out that they weren't human, I was glad.

I flickered through another book; it was a book on psychology. I wanted to know what it takes for someone to kill, what it takes to break someone mentally and why humans are so prone to such things as wrath, envy, gluttony, pride, vain, sloth and greed. Even is lust is a sin, it is also a tool.

For how many books have I read where by lust alone a woman had conquered a man and resulted in conquering the world? Such filthy words are used to explain promiscuity, but only for women are the words used, upon men there are few and even then they believe it a compliment, they can get anyone while if women can have anyone they're deemed a whore, a woman who stalks the night in hopes of money to feed her child, or a slut, a woman who needs the company of another just so that she can believe in one instant of that that she is loved and can actually feel more then the numbness that surrounds her.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel pleasure, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the sensation of fingers running down your body, bringing you higher to ecstasy, but there _is_ an apparent wrongness is liking the sensation that has brought you comfort if you are not to spend your life with this person, for you should only have so much _comfort_ from a body if you plan on using your own body to reproduce.

Though it has become obvious that man is not the only one who enjoys the sexual high received from pleasure, it is certain that in the animal kingdom there are others who enjoy it equally so.

If the gods did not want us to know of it, then why do animals know of it? Surely if humans were the superior species it would be exclusive to them and not the animals who are not of the gods favourites. Unless, that is to say, humanity is not a favoured race no more, and is nothing more then savages meant to kill each other.

Yes, I am thankful that I am not human.


End file.
